


Not Entirely Alone

by yas



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depressed Dean, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-08-27
Packaged: 2017-12-24 19:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/943903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yas/pseuds/yas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is done. He is done with everything. All of the things he's been through has piled up and he is ready to explode. With all the deaths he has seen and all the darkness he has been through, he realizes, "why can't I just end my life?". Castiel is trying to help him get through this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Entirely Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Still new with writing fan fiction so please give me any suggestions but don't be rude about it! Thanks x

Hot tears run down Deans face, his skin was pale, and his legs were trembling. Sam wasn't back from the motel yet, he had gone to grab dinner. Dean knew he had some time.  
He pretty much crawled his way to the bathroom because he couldn't feel his legs anymore. He was depressed. Severely depressed actually. Benny has just recently died and that's when he realized,  
he has almost no one. No friends. No family (except for Sam). Nothing. He stopped eating and sleeping. He didn't bother doing anything anymore. He was done. Lucifer and all sons of bitches out there won.  
Dean didn't plan on living anymore. What was the point? He had no hope to save the world anymore. He already has but more things keep coming and one day he will watch his brother die and he could never  
bare to see that.

He grabbed a new razor and slashed his wrists. Fresh blood was streaming out and dripping on the ground. He kept doing it. He lost so much blood that he passed out.  
Luckily, Castiel appeared to tell him about a new case that he found but he found Dean on the bathroom floor with a blood puddle.  
"Dean..." He whispered to himself.  
Castiel bent down and picked Dean up and put him on the cheap, hard, bed. He reached out his hand and rested it on Deans cheek. Within seconds, his scars disappeared and  
there was no blood on him. He sat there, staring at Dean. He was still passed out and would probably wake up tomorrow morning. Castiel thought to himself that if he hadn't showed up,  
Dean would've been.... dead. A tear streamed down Castiel's face. He couldn't believe it.

Sam opened the door and Cas quickly wiped his tear.  
"Cas what are you doing here?"   
"Uh-Um.. I was going to tell Dean about a case but I found him asleep so I was just waiting for you to come so I can tell you."  
"Oh okay. Well what's the case?"  
Sam put the food on the table and headed to the bathroom so he could wash his hands.  
"Well a few miles from here, a couple were found dead in their own house but there was-"  
"Cas!"  
Sam looked at the bathroom floor and saw the blood puddle and the shiny razor.   
"Wh-What happened?!?!" Sam asked in a frightened, shaky voice.  
Cas just stared at him, not knowing what to say.  
"What happened?" Sam demanded.  
"I-I was trying to shave and well... I'm not a very good shaver." Castiel replied and gave a tiny smile.  
He couldn't tell Sam that his brother attempted to kill himself. He just couldn't. He thought it would have been best for only himself to know and he can try to help him.  
Castiel cares about Dean. He died for him. He would do anything to keep him alive. He just couldn't believe the reason to why he just almost died was because he was depressed.  
He has noticed lately that Dean was more... pale, dull, his eyes had absolutely no ray of light in them. He was surprised Sam didn't notice.  
"Clean it up. Don't you ever freak me out like that again. Oh my God..."   
"My apologies..."   
Castiel quickly cleaned up the blood and right before he left he told Sam to make sure Dean ate in the morning. Sam was sort of confused but he just nodded. Castiel then vanished.

**Next Morning**

"Dean wake up!" Sam yelled and playfully kicked him.  
Deans eyes slowly opened. He didn't remember a thing that happened last night except when he was crying.  
How did he end up on the bed?   
"Wh-What?" Dean said in a shaky, quiet voice.  
"Dude we've got a case. Now get ready so we can go! We'll stop for breakfast as well!"  
"I... don't want breakfast."  
"What are you talking about? You're always up for food."  
"Sam... I....."  
Castiel appeared.  
Before Cas said anything, he stared at Dean, he stared at him for so long that Dean was starting to feel uncomfortable.  
"Hello Dean..." and tried to give a smile, but, he couldn't.  
Dean didn't say anything and just gave a nod.  
Sam felt this weird tension in the room which made him feel incredibly awkward.  
"How about I bring us breakfast instead? I'll be back in a bit." was all Sam said before he shut the door.  
Dean looked over to Cas. He was still staring at him. Dean noticed the hurt in his eyes.  
"What?"   
"We need to talk Dean."  
"About what?"  
"You..."  
"Want to elaborate on that?"  
"Do you remember anything that happened last night?"  
"I don't know what you're talking about..." Dean said nervously.  
"Well I'll tell you what I have seen... I came t-to tell you a-about a case..."  
Castiel's voice was so shaky that Dean could've sworn he was about to burst into tears.  
Dean just stared at him and let him continue.  
"I found you... in t-the bathroom. On the ground, passed out."  
Dean really didn't remember a thing.  
"So?"  
"You were covered in blood... Your wrists were slashed and you were pale white. Y-you lost so much blood. I was surprised I saved you..."  
Dean was speechless. He had no idea what to say or what to think. He didn't want anybody to be figuring about his severe depression and now  
Cas knows that he's suicidal. What could he possibly say?  
"Cas...."  
"I kind of do understand why you would do this. I do... But you would take your own life and leave your brother behind? .... and me...."  
Deans eyes widened. Why would Cas care if he was dead?  
"Why... would it matter? i-if i left you?"  
Cas stared at him like he was shocked that Dean would ever say that.  
"Why? Why would Sam care if you left him? Because he loves you. And... I love you too. You're very important to me. And if you were dead, I don't think i'd be able to keep myself alive. I might kill myself."  
Castiel was sobbing, his cheeks were red and his eyes were swelling up.  
Dean couldn't believe it. Cas cares so much about him that he would kill himself if Dean was dead?  
"Cas... I'm so sorry."  
Dean got up from his bed and hugged Castiel so tight that he wasn't sure if he was even able to breathe.  
Dean let out his tears as well. He felt so stupid. How could he have left his brother and an angel that loves him?  
They released each other. But they were only centimeters apart.  
"Dean, i'll get you help. We'll get through this... together. You aren't going to die young. You're going to be here with me and Sam."  
Dean nodded and leaned in to kiss Castiel. It wasn't a sloppy kiss, it was so tender and Dean was still crying while he was kissing him.  
Castiel has never felt so proud of himself. He kept Dean from hurting himself and know Dean is his.   
Dean wasn't alone.   
And he will never be.


End file.
